my feelings

I haven't been blogging - partly because I have been at home and have been having adventures in the Gilbert Kingdom, and partly because I haven't felt like it. It seems to me that lately I am letting my emotions run me. I feel today as if my heart has been drained- like the emotions of the week- the highs and the lows, the joys of simple things like Miles Davis and the ickiness of boredom at work, have been slowly evaporating me. There are times that I feel as if I am on top of the world - but then at others, I am shrinking.
The problem is not that I need to make my life "happier" - that is what I have been trying to do all week- what I need to do is rest in my life. To recognize that I can't "fix" it - I can't make that guy like me, I can't make my job exciting, I can't make my life "fun and exciting" at every turn - but I can embrace my humanity, understanding that all that I am is becoming like Jesus - not just my emotions, not just my heart - but my entire being. The way I eat breakfast, the way I drive, the way I work, the way I read, the way I watch movies, the way I talk to friends, the way I live - not trying to make it exciting- can bring worship to God as I allow Him to transform me in all of these areas. I don't want to try to outrun the curse - but I most certainly want Jesus to return to complete my redemption!