How trying to find contentment in this world has led to an influx of comparing and therefore self -centeredness coupled with insane insecurities

I feel like an early church father with this insanely long title for this blog - but it is very true! I have realized (after two or three really long conversations with really great friends - most recently with Renee' who is in town for a few days!) that the reason I do such horrid things is because I am trying to find my joy and fulfillment in this world. This desire to find my happiness this side of the second advent of Jesus leads me to look around at other people that I think have a happiness that I have not yet found- this is called comparing. So then I compare all kinds of wacky things - like, I am just as pretty as her, so why is she getting asked out, or I am smarter than her and a Heck of a lot better at conversing - so why is he interested in her - or I am really fun, so why does she want to hang out with her boyfriend instead of me - and then, quick as a match flaring up, my stick of comparison has become entrenched. It is amazing, I quickly begin to feel as if I have been victimized because I do not have the happiness that I think I am due because I am at least as good if not better than these other people - yep! You heard me! Isn't that gross - but it gets worse! So then, I am totally only thinking about myself - and then, when I get so wrapped up in myself, that I begin to tear everything apart about myself! Then I begin to see areas that I don't measure up! And then I start to think that no one would ever like me if they saw all that crap...And then it becomes very clear that because of this I will always be lacking full happiness here on earth - and then it starts all over again! YIKES!
all of this because I place my hope in this earth and what happiness I can find in it - I act as if all I could ever hope for is all ready here! WHAT A JOKE! I definitely agree with Sarah - I keep looking for something more! And that something is not a husband, a better friend, a cooler place to live, a job that allows me to sleep in, my book being published, a sheesha pipe or Dr. Pepper - all that I need and want and hope for is really the return of Christ - and forgetting this fact leads to CRAP in my life - so Father, today - could Jesus come back! I really do need Him to- I really do want Him to - I really want to live with Him forever on the new earth - to rejoice in my "whole self" being put right, to rejoice in the fact that I am freed from sin, to rejoice in the fact that I have been made like Him, to rejoice in the fact that I no longer have needs that are not met - but that everything has become Christ -above all and in all!