Miss Finished

I tease my kids at school about my name being Miss Finished instead of Miss Katy because they say "Miss, Finished" all of the time. There is actually an Arabic word "finish" and it means to stop or complete - not at all similar to our English word "finish!" :) but, being a KG 2 teacher, my kids love to tell me when they have completed the work I have given them. They are always eager to move on to the fun game that comes after the work. So, if you walked into my classroom on Monday you would hear "Miss, Finished!" about 50 times in the space of 2 hours! Yikes! But I get the great opportunity to be very friendly with the concept of "finished" and as I wind up my first year here I am confused over whether or not my time in the Emirates is finished - or whether or not I need more time here. I am getting close with the concept of "finished!" Today (Good Friday) I was watching "the Passion" with Vicki and I was struck by the line that J gives on the cr oss "It is finished!" and I thought about what that means. I have a new perspective on my relationship with J this year that I have not had in previous years. I am beginning to understand how totally warped my brain is and how even the things that were meant to be good have been sent into a cancerous growth because of the fall. I am especially realizing this in relation to my "personhood" and my insecurities. I have always know that I define myself by others thoughts and relationship to me - but I always thought that was wrong. I am beginning to realize that it is not wrong, God created us for this. He has always wanted us to get our "being" from outside ourselves, from Him. But the fall has warped that idea into the idea that I need other's approval to have "being" and worth. And this has lead to tremendous insecurities, lack of love for others, lack of love for myself and worse than all of the above, the lack of ability to receive love from others. But, as I watched the movie tonight, I saw J say "it is finished" and I thought about how that relates to me. It is finished - J sank the life boat! I now get my identity from my relationship with J - I now have peace with the Almighty God! I now have the righteousness of J! I now have a relationship that does not lead to insecurities and lack of love - but rather to deeper love and a true understanding of the value of human life - even my own! It's over, I no longer have to do things to please God or others; I no longer have to obey to get God's pleasure; I no longer have to live by no rules - or somebody else's rules - or my rules to get God to smile at me! I have a relationship with J! I am loved by Him - and He has said that no less than the love that the Father has for Him is mine too! The Father loves me as much as J! NO WAY!!!! This is truly incredible! This changes everything! It is wonderful to know that because of the work on the cr oss it is FINISHED!