I don't feel it

You know some days are really good days and you feel as if J is really close - or as Chris Rice says "you smell the scent of angel wings" - and some days you just can't wait to end so that you can start a new one over - today has been one of the those days - I mean, recently I have felt closer to J than I can remember - I felt as if He was my best friend, whispering in my ear things to change, things to love things to read - but lately I have felt as if He has fallen over a cliff - and I can hear muffled noises, and sometimes see Him off in the distance - but I don't feel as if He is really walking with me, side by side. I know that He is here - I know He loves me and is changing me so that I don't live life on the life boat - but I feel as if He is no where to be found. This scares me. I mean, I don't know when these feelings will come and when they will go - and I have to push thru them - but is this like every relationship? I mean aren't there times in even the best relationships that the other person seems distant, or busy, or out of town - It seems natural in human relationships because we know that there are two people involved, and that means two personalities, two schedules, two of everything - but with J I think that this shouldn't be the case - but maybe it is - not that He is off busy doing things, but that there are times when He wants me to know His closeness and maybe at other times He wants me to learn from the distance I feel.