Cravings

You know, lately I have been craving a deep relationship, a long suffering friend who will pass life with me - not just one I see a few days of the week, but one I see often, confide in and they in me. A friend that makes me laugh, that gently points out sin in my life and quickly comes to my aid to wrestle that sin to death. A friend that you can pass minutes in the car in silence and no one thinks of it as awkward. A friend who loves to do the things I like to do, who knows my desires and likes it when I am having fun. A friend who can sympathize with me in my struggles - and can help make a miserable time less miserable. As a single person, this friend is often interpreted in my life as a longing to get married. After all, since I have never been married, I can only imagine what it would be like - and that is a dangerous thing. I can imagine marriage as fulfilling my deepest relational needs and therefore wonderful. But as I have been reading (Josh's blog, my blog and Don Miller's books) I have come to the conclusion that is not what I am craving. Marriage is not going to satisfy my craving for deep relational intimacy - because even those who have a great marriage still need other friends - as a matter of fact the best marriages are those who have many deep friends who help them walk through life. So, marriage doesn't really solve anything on my part - and actually it is often a cop out! I mean, why invest in others deeply if only a marriage is what I need - I mean, I can't do anything about getting married - so I guess that means I just have to wait until God brings that someone in my life and then I can have true friendship - WHAT CRAP! I mean, that is what I feel - on days like today- but really, what I am longing for is not a husband - but a cure for my need. I need others, I find my identity through others -God has made me this way - and the fall has corrupted it so that it is mangled and unfulfilling and bursting with insecurities! But that is not what God had planned - He wants us to invest in others, get our identity from them as we all walk together to be more like His Son - not competing with each other, not trying to belong to each other - but resting in the work of the cr oss and trying to be known only by J and Him cruc ified! This is what God wants from us - a working out of our love for Him and for others! So today - I crave relationships - like everyday.....And one day for eternity I will lose this craving and be able to know, really know, what friendship is - and then I will get to do it for eternity! Oh- I raise my glass and say "May it come quickly!