Isn't great!

you know, I have been learning a lot about myself lately - a lot about how I believe Oprah more than Jesus in lots of areas of my life - I have learned that I have re-acted to male dominance in my life by being "feministic" - I have learned that I have a lot of silly rules about who can be my husband, just so I can protect myself and not let anyone really love me, I have learned that I use metaphors for relationships that don't convey God's meaning of relationships, I have learned that I use the term "unhealthy" as a euphemism for "ungodly" because I don't like saying that I have had "ungodly" relationships and "unhealthy" makes me look better, I have learned that I need to totally trust God - I mean, not just say I trust Him...But genuinely trust that He loves me and that He loves me and that HE LOVES ME!!!!! And because underneath me are His everlasting arms and I am surrounded by His unfailing love - I can trust Him. I can trust Him in my insecurities, I can trust Him with my finances, I can trust Him with my relationships - I can trust Him! I have learned that God's provision is amazing, in that He has given me friends who truly adore me and want me to love Jesus with all of my being! And although I have only known some of them for a few weeks - they have enlarged my heart to love God and others better already! I have learned that I miss my life in the Emirates and my friends there and my conversations about God - and how incredibly grateful I am for the time there to be loved by others and to practice loving them too!
And the coolest thing about learning all of these things is that I would have never learned them if the Holy Spirit wasn't living and breathing inside of me! I mean, I know that it is His work that is making me different - It is His changing my thoughts on people, my thoughts on men, my thoughts on church, my thoughts on Oprah - I know that these things would have never been changed because some guy told me, or because some girl pointed them out - because I have heard them all before I am sure, but this week - God Himself has made these truths come alive and He has changed me to look a little more like Jesus! And How do you express gratitude for that? It truly is dis-describable the relationship that we have with the Trinity!
So, I am grateful- still jobless, wondering how to be a Christian Single in a place where all the girls want to chat about boys, Still trying to get used to American Christianity - but I am learning and God is changing me! What incredible Grace!