The One and Lonely

There is a song by this title - and I can relate to it in full force today. "Sometimes I feel like I am the one and only, but today I feel like the One and Lonely." It is amazing how these feelings can creep up and bite you - taking over your feelings and projects and perspective of life. The day before my uniqueness was a good thing - something that makes me stand out in a crowd and gives me identity. But then, the very next day, the fact that no one is like me makes me want to run away! I have a deep longing, yeah verily an ache - for someone who thinks like I do. I want someone who thinks about the things of God, who wants to love people even though it costs a lot, someone who wants to go to new places, someone who doesn't cringe when they find out that people think differently than they do. I am glad that people are different from me - I just want someone who is like me! :)
I have found myself telling my friends about things I am going to to be doing this semester and watching their "have fun" faces - I told them about hanging out with my Democrat friend Chris in an openly gay area of town, where there were gay couples surrounding us at the coffee shop and on the street men in drag walk by frequently. Granted, this is not my typical experience in life, but I do believe that these people of "oak lawn" are people - and that God loves them just as much as He loves me! But my friends at school, the one that believe in Jesus "like I do," they don't want to be caught dead down there! But I hung out with my friend, reading my theology book in the coffee shop next to all of these people - learning to love them a little bit more - learning to see past the makeup and the hand holding and see them as people, not sin. But, I want someone to go with me! And then, I told them about how I am going to start teaching ESL to refugees here in the Metroplex - and their response was "don't over-extend yourself" - and I was thinking - I love teaching, I hate not teaching, I need to teach - I love internationals, I hate not being around people from other countries and cultures - I need to be around these people! I won't be over-extending myself - I will be giving myself energy!
But, I have to do it alone - I feel like a freak - the things I love pull me away from my friends....That is not the way it is supposed to be - I am supposed to be able to do the things I love with my friends.
but this is not the case - so today I am the one and lonely!